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The author shows how interesting it is to consider the ethics of identification with the person who is suffering or has suffered from anorexia or bulimia as her own mother did, so that the disaggregated oral aspects of a shared meal (eating and talking together) can be re-enacted. Her demonstration is based on two different care processes: one institutional, the other a psychoanalytical therapy. She explains how artistic and medical knowledge of human oral manifestations (swallowing, chewing, screaming, speaking) as well as group elaboration contribute to overcome the risk of medical staff hindering the healing process by too much melancholic identification. She shows how to prevent the risk of transmitting anorexia at an early stage in the pregnancy through psychoanalytic listening to the unconscious trans-generational identifications.