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This article seeks to analyse what happened to the families of missing people during the military regime, who were unable to express their grief through the normal process of mourning due to the silence surrounding those disappearances. Two members of two different families of missing people were interviewed. It is shown that even now these families are still trying to fill in the gaps in their memories of their loved ones. The theory of generational transmission provided for an understanding of the effects of these traumatic situations on family subjectivity. From a transdisciplinary approach, it was observed that traumatic situations unrecognised by society – non-legitimised situations – led to an inability to elaborate and overcome trauma. The disqualification of what had actually happened hindered the possibility of repairing and dealing with the shame in the historical, social and community spheres.