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In the last twenty years, there has been increasing recognition that the quality of life of older people is affected by conflict within families. As a result, conflict models have been developed which are at the opposite spectrum to the solidarity model. Increasingly such polarity in family relationships has been challenged as ambivalence as a concept, reflecting contradictions in parent and adult offspring relationships, is increasing in significance. This article draws on both quantitative and qualitative data collected as part of the Oasis project to explore these issues in a European Context. It attempts to expose some of the ambivalences inherent in the relationships we explored, especially during periods of transition to “dependency” when the tension between need for care and health deterioration has to be balanced with a need for autonomy and independence. The article also highlights how relationships are negotiated and how structural factors influence individual negotiation between generations during this period of transition to “dependency.”