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Drawing on two case studies, this article sets out to examine mass violence from the angle of families subjected to the onslaught of a criminal regime.Both in the case of the annihilation of the Ottoman Armenians and Khomeini’s eradication of dissident voices in 1980s Iran, the focus is on the repercussions of a concerted policy of extermination on filial bonds. Experiences of intimacy are teased out by exploring how relationships within families are affected by the abuses visited upon them in such a context. The approach is a painterly one, the accretion of subtle brushstrokes gradually revealing a picture of how family configurations are subverted by state violence and illuminating the shadows where emotional resources are recalibrated and deployed to resist the menace of death.