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The author reflects on the confusion between normal seduction and sexual assault, based on clinical data about extreme psychological trauma and sexual assault. Often, childhood sexual assault victims feel guilty about these experiences. The author draws a distinction between the psychosexual game and the fixation of sexuality. He questions the ideas of implantation (normal seduction) and intromission (violence) in J. Laplanche. After discussing some clinical examples, he proposes the idea of tenderness as a regulator for attachment types. Tenderness is described as the fruit of inter-subjectivity, initiating the introjection of a refuge-object; it is a vector for recognition, connection, and transformation across different communication methods and in the translation of messages of seduction. These messages play an important role in both relational quality and in the construction of sexuality. Mutual translations of these messages by children and adults, and the way that these translations are performed, play an important role in the destiny of this form of sexuality.