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Based on her experiences with survivors of the Rwandan genocide, the author attempts to show that groups who have experienced extreme violence—such as genocide or mass murder—are confronted with the question of transmission and the need to find appropriate forms for this transmission. Constructing a representation of the events that took place requires the use of structures and people outside of the group concerned, who will act as support during the time needed to reconstruct the destroyed group containers. All groups who have experienced violence therefore need an exogenous third party, to escape the silence and avoid the deadly confinement to which the commemoration of violence might condemn them.