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In the first section of this paper, we approach relations between norm and gender with reference to those parts that have been most thought out in linguistics, i.e. spelling, vocabulary and grammar. It then becomes possible to compare such explicit and imperative, de-contextualized grammatical comments to the discursive norms that bear on complex entities and depend as much on model-texts as on explicit instructions. In line with Bakhtine, the paradigm has been extended to 'ordinary' genres. A second section considers the distortions introduced when transferring notions from writing to oral speech. Analyzing a specific genre â?" radio phone-ins for a young public - permits us to illustrate that area of informal orality, raising the question of the limits between violating a norm and changing it.