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Freud’s ambivalence toward medical practice is far from exceptional. The latter awakens contrasting affects in the practitioner, which can sometimes be the cause of suffering. While many studies have analyzed the experience of non-doctor nursing staff, that of doctors has been little investigated in psychoanalysis, and even more so that of hospital practitioners frequently confronted with the death of one of their patients. The author proposes an analysis of the affects, the fantasies, and the dreams aroused by medical specialisms among which the frequency of death has traumatic effects on the practitioner. Interviews conducted with icu doctors reveal that their suffering can be provoked by the gap between the fantasy of the savior, the founder of the medical vocation, and the reality of therapeutic failures, between the fantasy of immortality and the injunction to kill. The analysis of their discourses unveils the childlike position reactivated by the relationship with some patients, in particular the Oedipal link to the mother, the despair of the child who has rebelled against the reality of death, and guilt.