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With reference to three clinical cases, the author sets out to discuss the construction of private life in the restricted sense of the term, that is to say, pertaining to the sexuality proper, through the transformation of a fantasy in the usual sense of the term into a structuring phantasy in the sense given to it by Gisela Pankow. The situations envisaged range from eyeing with desire to attempted touching or even sexual abuse. The notions of incest and of a first event (avant-coup) in the traumatic process are discussed. The author shows that an event that could have given rise to a psychic catastrophe, leaving the subject absent from him- or herself is transformed more or less favourably and, thanks to analytic work, allows the subject to reconquer his or her intimacy as much as possible.