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In this article, self-disclosure (coming out) is studied in its subjective and relational context, in order to analyse contemporary patterns of subjectivation. For young adults and adolescents, thinking of oneself as homosexual can be considered as part of wider attempts at defining oneself. The article seeks to highlight the theoretical groundings of these flexible modes of self-definition. The argumentation is substantiated by the examination of clinical examples that illustrate how a quest for identity is expressed through disclosing one’s homosexuality within the family context. « Coming out » against this background is not a mere strategy to make known a sexual orientation as being settled once and for all. It is also to be conceived of as a stage in one’s self-assessment, in which the reactions of one’s relatives open the space for one’s self-definition, involving both self-reflection and an identificatory and specular movement.