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This article proposes a conceptualisation of perinatal bereavement in men, a subject that has hitherto rarely been studies. Perinatal bereavement is a special condition due both to the lack of differentiation of the lost object and the degree to which it was invested in, as also to an overwhelming narcissistic haemorrhage. In the grief stricken family, bereavement for “becoming a father” shows certain signal features. The article seeks to develop the question of symbolisation of the loss for the father. Thinking is devoted to the Narcissistic-objectal continuum of investment in the baby in utero, leading on to a proposal for conceptualisation of perinatal bereavement centred on the notion of a virtual object relation – the “virtual child” not to be opposed to the real child, but to the current child. These theoretical considerations are supported and illustrated by testimony from two men having experienced such a loss.