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Critical thinking is applied to show how dating websites contribute to an across the board change in the ways the couple is construed and then to consider what this really represents. The intellectualisation represented by the need to find a way of introducing oneself before the possible encounter, as also defining one’s expectations with respect to the potential partner, set the individual in a different position as compared with a « conventional » encounter. The more concrete and physical, as well as unconscious dimensions of the play involved in a « spontaneous » encounter seem to take a back seat role, at least initially. But this process of rationalisation bears with it a certain number of contradictions that may synchronise with the paradoxes of hypermodernity : self-fulfilment in the other and exacerbation of the expectations one has of others in parallel with the individualistic assertion of selfhood…