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A couple asks for a consultation regarding their 6 year old child, who seemed to be too aggressive and violent. Stimulated by the reflections about their request, by family history and by the material of the sessions, the authors propose a reflection on sadomasochistic relationship within the couple. As it seems to happen in this case, the choice of partner seems to answer to the need to express destructiveness by creating “fields” of conflict, in which aggression and violence appear to be an oasis of respite from suffering. At the same time, child’s aggressivity and violence emerge as an assault to his own mind, and also to the mind of the other. Separation evokes violent, persecuting, and strongly hostile fantasies. So, it makes real the transgenerational transmission of aggression and violence as extreme defenses against contact with the deepest depressing experience.